Self-Care Isn’t Bubble Baths — It’s Actually Kind of Boring

Less glamorous than a spa day. More effective too. Photo: Unsplash

The internet version of self-care involves expensive candles, perfectly curated skincare routines, and Instagram-worthy bubble baths with rose petals. The reality of self-care is more like: going to bed at a reasonable hour, eating vegetables, scheduling that doctor’s appointment you’ve been avoiding, and sometimes just sitting quietly without looking at a screen.

It’s not sexy. It doesn’t make good content. But it’s what actually works.

I used to think self-care was about treating myself — ordering takeout, buying things online, staying up late watching shows. Turns out that’s just… consumption. Actual self-care is often the boring stuff you don’t want to do but know you should.

That’s from a Thriving Center of Psychology survey, and it shows that the desire for better mental health is almost universal among younger generations. But what are people actually doing about it?

The Journaling Thing

I’m going to admit something embarrassing: I resisted journaling for years because it felt cliche. “Write down your feelings”? That’s so basic. I’m too cool for that.

Reader, I was not too cool for that.

According to mental health research, journaling continues to be one of the most effective self-care practices — and it’s trending even more in 2025. People are doing gratitude journals, stream-of-consciousness writing, therapeutic emotional processing, tracking their moods and habits.

I started with just writing three things I was grateful for every morning. It felt stupid. It felt like homework. But after a few weeks, I noticed I was actually looking for good things during the day so I’d have something to write down. My brain was literally rewiring itself to notice the positive.

Maya’s Take:

What Actually Moves the Needle

According to wellness researchers, the trends that are actually making a difference for mental health in 2025 aren’t the flashy ones. They’re:

Sleep hygiene: Going to bed at the same time, reducing screen exposure before bed, creating a calming routine. Boring but crucial.

Sleep hygiene:

Gentle exercise: Not punishing gym sessions, but walking, yoga, pilates — movement that reduces stress instead of adding to it.

Gentle exercise:

Digital detoxes: Taking actual breaks from screens, which we already talked about in another article.

Digital detoxes:

Mindfulness practices: Meditation, breathwork, just learning to be present instead of constantly distracted.

Mindfulness practices:

Real social connection: Spending time with people in person, not just interacting through screens.

Real social connection:

The Research Says:

Self-Care as Lifestyle, Not Event

The mistake I used to make was treating self-care as something I did occasionally when I was burnt out — a spa day, a vacation, a splurge. But that’s like only eating when you’re already starving or only sleeping when you’re about to collapse.

Self-care experts emphasize that the shift in 2025 is toward integrating mental health practices into daily life, not treating them as occasional treats. It’s the small daily habits that compound over time.

“Self-care has now transformed into a necessity, crucial for maintaining balance in our fast-paced world.”

That’s from life coach Erica Diamond, and she’s right. You can’t out-spa-day a lifestyle that’s systematically depleting you. The fix has to be woven into how you live every day.

My Unglamorous Routine

Here’s what my self-care actually looks like, stripped of any pretense:

Morning: Wake up at the same time every day. Write three gratitude things in my Notes app. Make coffee. Walk Biscuit (he’s a cat but we do a balcony hang, whatever). No phone scrolling until after coffee.

Throughout the day: Take actual breaks instead of just switching tabs. Go outside at least once even if it’s just around the block. Drink water like a normal human. Eat actual food, not just snacks at my desk.

Evening: Close laptop by 6pm most days. Make dinner that involves vegetables. No screens after 9pm (this one I’m still working on). Read an actual book. Bed by 10:30.

It’s not exciting. There are no rose petals. But I feel better than I have in years.

Maya’s Take:

The Permission Slip

If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: You’re allowed to take care of yourself without justifying it with productivity.

You don’t have to earn rest by first exhausting yourself. You don’t have to prove you’re stressed enough to deserve a break. You don’t have to optimize your relaxation for maximum efficiency.

You can just… do things that help you feel okay. And that’s enough.

Biscuit’s self-care routine involves napping in sunbeams, demanding treats, and knocking things off tables. He has never once tried to justify his existence through productivity. He is my role model.

This is the last article in this series, and I want to end it simply: Take care of yourself. Not the Instagram version. The real version. The boring, daily, unglamorous version that actually works.

You deserve it. Even if you haven’t earned it.